i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
