so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
