STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
