Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
