we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
