Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
