it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
