Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
