So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
