and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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