chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
