We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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