he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
