my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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