you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
