he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
