I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
