you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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