and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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