Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
This is classic penis vs brain.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
