Grow some girl-balls and come out already
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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