your parents love me but you hate me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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