It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
