He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
