Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
