I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
