bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
