i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
