How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
