The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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