think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
