That's when you crack a 10am beer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I deserve this hangover.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
