so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
