My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
