Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
