My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
