Porn is love you can see.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
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You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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