i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
