I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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