is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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