I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
