so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
