We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
