In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
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