he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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