Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
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I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
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He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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