take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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