3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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