Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
