dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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