well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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