I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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