tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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