So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
