I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
