i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
