sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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